8/27/2016
Part 1:
The vertical grounding. Mind, Body, Soul. Very separate entities with specific purposes. The daily grounding and quiet reminders of where I've come from and who I was created to be. This is my daily morning Jesus/coffee time.
Part 2:
Stabilizer: the thing you can't NOT do. Running, physical exercise, dance, moving my body, doing HARD HARD stuff. It's a portal. A portal to my Creator and a way that I access a limitless cauldron of will, determination and stick-to-it-ness. A name for the stabilizer would help. My soul knows but in order for my physical body to recognize, I need a visual and a name. I'm inspired to study about Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce trip from the Wallowa Valley (OR). Chief Joseph's given native names was Hin-mah-too-yah-lat-kekt which means Thunder rolling down mountain. He was a leader, a peace seeker and someone who did not give up easily. He was described as having an iron will. I'm working on the name for my stabilizer and a picture too. The healing power of electricity which is part of what creates thunder. A lightening bolt may represent the vertical grounding part 1). I can LEAN into this because it's stronger and bigger than myself. It is not intimidated by my insatiable needs...the ones that reach deeper than what is ever seen by others, the needs that are known in the deep. I don't rely on it to do work that I need to do, I lean on it while I do the work.
Part 3:
Mindset. The mindset is the path. The path of where I'm headed and who I am going to be. The plain, simple, old-school me. The me that my soul and spirit remember but have been given reasons to not BE. The me that loves pure beauty that only nature can offer. The me that hates AC and microwaves. The part of me that wants to do it the hard way, wants the rugged, tough and tired path. It's worth it. The peace that comes from this mindset and path of life, is insurmountable.
How does this manifest into a finish at IMTUF. I'm not exactly sure yet. Maybe it doesn't matter, but I have a deep seeded feeling that it's the deal breaker or rather the deal sealer. Prior to my BigHorn 100 finish in 2012, I knew I would finish. I was solid in that no matter how horrible I felt, there was just nothing short of a fracture in my femur that would stop me. I have tried to figure out what got my mind in that place and get there again. Somehow, it's resurrected...that mind set. Like a phoenix. I'm excited. I'm ready to explode with desire and drive.
Three weeks from tonight I will be running all night.....the "thing" that sets 100 milers apart from all other ultras. The over night component. I will run my race. I will focus on what I need and not where I am in comparison to others. I may come in DFL but it matters not. What matters to my spirit is that I finish. The end. I will conjure my iron will that hasn't quit on my life and is just getting started. The call of the mountains is so strong in me. The mountains offer limitless opportunities for HARD...the portal.
Showing posts with label 100 mile training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 100 mile training. Show all posts
Monday, September 5, 2016
Monday, August 1, 2016
100 mile re-entry test #1
First of all, going into this race I already had my sights set on a future race. I was using Beaverhead to do kind of a litmus test if you will. Beaverhead is a 55K that is in high country and took place on 7/9/2016. It starts at a low elevation of 7500' (ish) and climbs to over 10K' a couple of times. I've run a couple races that go into the 9000's and had a few breathing issues but nothing that was a race ending for me. I have not been eating wheat since the first of May. It's had some mixed results... I've had NO GI issues on any runs, I wheeze a lot less and I just plain feel better. During and post-race I had no wheezing AT ALL. That is a miracle. I always have wheezing the night after long runs and a tight chest the next day. I didn't have either of those. WHOA!!!
Things that went right:
Things I need to work on:
Random: some people have said to me "it's good to see you're back". I don't feel like that's quite accurate yet. I have a LOT more training and prep to do.
Things that went right:
- Altra Superiors were awesome. No issues at all.
- I felt so bad and had such a hard time with the 4 miles of bonk-ville that I was fighting the DNF demon like crazy. I still can't believe I won. I thought of a recent book I just read and other people I know who influence me. In the end, I decided that I would take care of myself when I reached the AS and give myself like 5-7 min to get cals in. That I would carry on and no bonk would cost me my race.
- No blister issues. No clothing problems, I had arm sleeves and a tank top with my jacket in my pack which I did eventually put on when it started raining. It was so hot I actually took the jacket off and ran in the rain.
- baggie for my phone. I loved listening to music when needing to concentrate on the "what".
- I realize that I don't want to talk or hear anything when I'm in a hard working section when I'm needing to remember my "why".
- I drank a lot of water... and stayed hydrated which may have very well saved my race.
- ZERO wheezing during the race or even after.
- A fellow runner friend had an elevation profile that I did not have but was wishing for prior to race start. She randomly offered me a copy just before race start to which I was immediately so grateful. I pulled that out so many times. It felt like my woobie!
Things I need to work on:
- eating MORE and not bonking. ***this is a long race deal breaker***
- I was searching in my bag on the way to the start for my clippers that I swear I packed. I never found them. My toe nails really needed to be cut. They paid the price with at least my one big toe and one pinky toe nails due to big blood blisters underneath. I hate when that happens. My other big toe nail may go to. This is normally not a problem for me.
- Focus on executing MY race. PERIOD.
- My mindset during the race. I had a lot of fear going into this race. I could tell that I was getting low on calories before I even hit the first AS. In the first six miles, I ate two things in my pack and I didn't have an endless supply of food volume to eat like that all day. I was fearful that I wouldn't have the fuel I needed at the AS. So I skimped and that was a bad decision made only in fear. Fear of bonking (happened), fear of quitting/wanting to quit (happened...didn't quit but wanted to)...just generally fearing focus. My focus needs to be on keeping my body fueled so that my mind makes it do what I want it to do!
- I need to figure out a lot more food options. The only thing that got me even feeling a little better was soda. The last three AS were nothing but soda-fests. I had food too but had at least 8-12oz of soda at each AS.
Random: some people have said to me "it's good to see you're back". I don't feel like that's quite accurate yet. I have a LOT more training and prep to do.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Training and a dream....part 2
Do you ever have those training days where everything just goes right? Like the world was set in motion this AM just to bring me some stuff to smile about!
Have you ever drifted off to sleep and somehow immediately began to dream? You know the type...where you wake up with a hard jerk that shakes the entire bed. That's what happened to me last night. I was drifting off after reading. The material I was reading was very profound and quite thought provoking. I knew that it would take some days of processing before I could fully grasp. Nonetheless, as I drifted off I could see myself running down a trail. I was chasing myself as I tripped over a large root in the ground. That's right, I JOLTED myself in my bed as I tried to catch my fall in my dream. I nearly threw myself out of the bed but then sat there with my heart beating a million miles an hour. I love falling asleep to running and especially on a trail.
At this point in the training, I'm looking at 3.5 weeks until I once again attempt the 100 mile distance. There's something about the 100 mile that draws me in, that distance is set apart even from the 100K distance...at least for me. It's the overnight portion that puts it in another category. I lost a great deal of confidence after IMTUF for a variety of reasons that weren't all connected to running. Since January and my recovery from supposed "walking pneumonia" and a sinus infection that caused yet another asthma flare, has been like a catapolt to a new level of breathing. A new level evidenced by peak flow volumes I've never seen from my lungs. I feel amazing. I've had tempo runs that reminded me that I don't always have to be a 17 m/m trail slogger (no offense to any of my slogging friends) but that I can still run some sub 10 m/m and even sub 9 if I go for it. I still get a bit anxious when I start breathing hard (if I'm going for a sub 9 m/m) and I'm still about 9 pounds above where I was last year. BUT I'm working on it. I'm stronger because of it. Today, on my run after a particularly insightful conversation, I ran with food for thought. I imagined myself as a muskox. With the strength and knowledge that comes from a journey that is wild, rough and unrelenting. I thought about what Emily told me right before we started IMTUF. She told me how she'd been telling herself all night long how she was strong and could do this. She was coaching and self-motivating. (WOW did that ever work!!!) I realized that is exactly what I was doing only it was happening during a short 6 mile run. Last week my tempo run ended with the fastest mile split I'd seen in a year. 9:33. Today, my second to the last mile was a 9:35 and I nearly panicked. I own negative splits and I make them happen. When I saw the 9:35 I immediately doubted my ability to pull off an add'l mile with a negative split. I figured I had nothing to lose for trying. I was going home and would literally be right at my driveway when the mile clicked over. I had no reason to hold back. Not only that but this is my peak week for mileage so might as well make it a peak week for pace too right? I did it. 9:07! I almost pee'd my pants from surprise. In fact I completely started crying. Right there. In my driveway. Bent over at the waist heaving with tears. I did it. I am strong. I am a runner.
A recent quote that I've wrestled with is "this is how he grows: by being defeated decisively by increasingly larger beings" -Rilke I've been defeated by IMTUF. I've been defeated by respiratory problems. I've been defeated by the breakdown of my marriage and my family. These defeats have taught me lessons. I'm stronger now. I'm wiser now. I recognize past "beings" as no longer having the power they once held. Today this manifested in my run. I've learned how to manage my respiratory system. I've learned some of the lessons of a DNF. I'm growing as a Jesus girl and it's making me a better person, better wife, better mom and friend. I have much to learn and lots of room for growth. For this moment, I'll bask in this good run day!
Have you ever drifted off to sleep and somehow immediately began to dream? You know the type...where you wake up with a hard jerk that shakes the entire bed. That's what happened to me last night. I was drifting off after reading. The material I was reading was very profound and quite thought provoking. I knew that it would take some days of processing before I could fully grasp. Nonetheless, as I drifted off I could see myself running down a trail. I was chasing myself as I tripped over a large root in the ground. That's right, I JOLTED myself in my bed as I tried to catch my fall in my dream. I nearly threw myself out of the bed but then sat there with my heart beating a million miles an hour. I love falling asleep to running and especially on a trail.
At this point in the training, I'm looking at 3.5 weeks until I once again attempt the 100 mile distance. There's something about the 100 mile that draws me in, that distance is set apart even from the 100K distance...at least for me. It's the overnight portion that puts it in another category. I lost a great deal of confidence after IMTUF for a variety of reasons that weren't all connected to running. Since January and my recovery from supposed "walking pneumonia" and a sinus infection that caused yet another asthma flare, has been like a catapolt to a new level of breathing. A new level evidenced by peak flow volumes I've never seen from my lungs. I feel amazing. I've had tempo runs that reminded me that I don't always have to be a 17 m/m trail slogger (no offense to any of my slogging friends) but that I can still run some sub 10 m/m and even sub 9 if I go for it. I still get a bit anxious when I start breathing hard (if I'm going for a sub 9 m/m) and I'm still about 9 pounds above where I was last year. BUT I'm working on it. I'm stronger because of it. Today, on my run after a particularly insightful conversation, I ran with food for thought. I imagined myself as a muskox. With the strength and knowledge that comes from a journey that is wild, rough and unrelenting. I thought about what Emily told me right before we started IMTUF. She told me how she'd been telling herself all night long how she was strong and could do this. She was coaching and self-motivating. (WOW did that ever work!!!) I realized that is exactly what I was doing only it was happening during a short 6 mile run. Last week my tempo run ended with the fastest mile split I'd seen in a year. 9:33. Today, my second to the last mile was a 9:35 and I nearly panicked. I own negative splits and I make them happen. When I saw the 9:35 I immediately doubted my ability to pull off an add'l mile with a negative split. I figured I had nothing to lose for trying. I was going home and would literally be right at my driveway when the mile clicked over. I had no reason to hold back. Not only that but this is my peak week for mileage so might as well make it a peak week for pace too right? I did it. 9:07! I almost pee'd my pants from surprise. In fact I completely started crying. Right there. In my driveway. Bent over at the waist heaving with tears. I did it. I am strong. I am a runner.
A recent quote that I've wrestled with is "this is how he grows: by being defeated decisively by increasingly larger beings" -Rilke I've been defeated by IMTUF. I've been defeated by respiratory problems. I've been defeated by the breakdown of my marriage and my family. These defeats have taught me lessons. I'm stronger now. I'm wiser now. I recognize past "beings" as no longer having the power they once held. Today this manifested in my run. I've learned how to manage my respiratory system. I've learned some of the lessons of a DNF. I'm growing as a Jesus girl and it's making me a better person, better wife, better mom and friend. I have much to learn and lots of room for growth. For this moment, I'll bask in this good run day!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
The good, The bad and The happy days
So, there's been a mega inversion in the Treasure Valley for the last several weeks following Christmas. It honestly didn't dawn on me until Saturday's 50K sweep of the Wilson Creek frozen 50K that we may also be dealing with poor air quality. Nonetheless, the lows have been in the single digits to negative numbers and highs during the day are a swealtering 20 on a good day! So, all outside running no matter when you go is pretty brutal. I did get run down at Christmas with family here but doesn't everyone? I had very low miles in December and I just figured I'd pick back up after my sister left to go back to OK on Jan 5th. The very next night I met up with my training friend Emily and ran a 10 mile death march. First off, we were meeting people at the Lake Lowell Refuge and my understanding was that we'd run a straight line from her house which would be less than 2 miles. Well, leave it to Emily to have something more pleasant. She had a 3 mile route planned out and since we had just under 30 minutes to get there, I realized I was going to die. #1 I've gained 15 pounds since my BigHorn 100 finish in June 2012. That's been very difficult for me not only psychologically but physically as well when it comes to my work of breathing on a run. #2 I ran less than 50 miles in the month of December. Compared to the 150ish miles I'd been running every month in 2012, Dec was a very low running month. Needless to say, those 3 miles of sub 10 min/mi was like a full out sprint and in single digit temperatures...the combo was just no good. I was a wheeze fest on the way home from that 10 miler but the fact that I finished and didn't die and honestly didn't even walk (I may have spent 15-20 seconds wretching at the top of the 3rd roller) in less than 2 hours was great. Just to know I could knock off a 10 miler felt like all wasn't completely lost.
However the week following my "almost died but knocked off 10 miles" run, I didn't run even a step. Between the dance classes for my two daughters and my oldest son's high school JV basketball and not to mention, I have a job, make dinner, do the laundry and try to squeeze some sleep and a few showers in....I feel lucky to have a moment to breathe every day. Sunday night came around again and I thought it would be prudent to go ahead and do that 10 miles again with Emily knowing that I should be able to have a few days to get more miles in than just 10 that next week. This 10 miles we ran with Tony Bunt. He is a super fast guy who was gracious enough to allow me to slog on behind him and Emily. I swear I've turned into more than a back of the packer, I'm like the little fat kid running behind the entire group waving their hands saying "wait for me"......only in reality I'm the one wheezing, dying on the inside, trying to find that part of me that really does love this.
All the dang wheezing....and along comes the WC50K. I've had some serious panic and doubts about my ability to finish this distance knowing my peak flows have dropped, it's absolutely sub-artic weather outside and an orange air quality to top it all off. Luckily, Jon K and I only had to do about 24 miles and a good deal of that was with the last 20 mile runner who was going at a pace that was completely comfortable for a wheeze machine such as myself. Even still, on the way home if I tried to talk to many words or laugh or exhale/inhale with any kind of force, it would send me into a mass of smoker's hack sounding cough spasms.
I swear I can't live like this. I yell at my kids, I'm angry with my husband and life in general is not pleasant for those around me. So I gave in and called the doctor this morning. They got me in today. I had a fever that was low grade. She said this likely meant that I've been having "this" lingering and my body has been working hard to fight it off. OH, maybe that's why I have a stupid cold sore now! Anyway, she said I had either one of or a combo of walking pneumonia and a sinus infection. Back to the drug store for my antibiotics and steriod anti-inflammatories. MORE MEDICATIONS.....I keep telling myself it's for the greater good of my wellbeing. Not just for running because if that's all it is for, then it seems only selfish to take meds and spend money like that. I mean I do feel better when I can breath and all but somehow it just doesn't seem fair. I said as much to the Nurse Practitioner that I saw today and she said it's really not ok for me to just sit around since that doesn't make me short of breath. Yesterday, pushing H (my 5 y.o.) and D (my 4 y.o.) in a cart at WinCo, I was so short of breath, I had to take H out of the cart to get the grocery shopping done. Defeating to say the least.
The good: Doctor's orders say that I am UNLIMITED in the amount of inside exercise I can engage in. So my 60 min on the eliptical yesterday wouldn't have been considered "naughty". So I ran 4 miles at the Rec tonight....just nice and easy.
The bad: I have to take more medicine. I hate taking meds....I feel like I AM Walgreens!
The very happy day: I am going to get better and feel awesome in less than 3 days and I can really start knocking out some miles!!!
8 1/2 weeks and counting. I'm focusing right now on keeping my miles up and getting my weight back down to 130. This morning I was at 142.2. IMO this weight is as important as getting my mileage. "Ain't nobody gonna convince me otherwise!"
However the week following my "almost died but knocked off 10 miles" run, I didn't run even a step. Between the dance classes for my two daughters and my oldest son's high school JV basketball and not to mention, I have a job, make dinner, do the laundry and try to squeeze some sleep and a few showers in....I feel lucky to have a moment to breathe every day. Sunday night came around again and I thought it would be prudent to go ahead and do that 10 miles again with Emily knowing that I should be able to have a few days to get more miles in than just 10 that next week. This 10 miles we ran with Tony Bunt. He is a super fast guy who was gracious enough to allow me to slog on behind him and Emily. I swear I've turned into more than a back of the packer, I'm like the little fat kid running behind the entire group waving their hands saying "wait for me"......only in reality I'm the one wheezing, dying on the inside, trying to find that part of me that really does love this.
All the dang wheezing....and along comes the WC50K. I've had some serious panic and doubts about my ability to finish this distance knowing my peak flows have dropped, it's absolutely sub-artic weather outside and an orange air quality to top it all off. Luckily, Jon K and I only had to do about 24 miles and a good deal of that was with the last 20 mile runner who was going at a pace that was completely comfortable for a wheeze machine such as myself. Even still, on the way home if I tried to talk to many words or laugh or exhale/inhale with any kind of force, it would send me into a mass of smoker's hack sounding cough spasms.
I swear I can't live like this. I yell at my kids, I'm angry with my husband and life in general is not pleasant for those around me. So I gave in and called the doctor this morning. They got me in today. I had a fever that was low grade. She said this likely meant that I've been having "this" lingering and my body has been working hard to fight it off. OH, maybe that's why I have a stupid cold sore now! Anyway, she said I had either one of or a combo of walking pneumonia and a sinus infection. Back to the drug store for my antibiotics and steriod anti-inflammatories. MORE MEDICATIONS.....I keep telling myself it's for the greater good of my wellbeing. Not just for running because if that's all it is for, then it seems only selfish to take meds and spend money like that. I mean I do feel better when I can breath and all but somehow it just doesn't seem fair. I said as much to the Nurse Practitioner that I saw today and she said it's really not ok for me to just sit around since that doesn't make me short of breath. Yesterday, pushing H (my 5 y.o.) and D (my 4 y.o.) in a cart at WinCo, I was so short of breath, I had to take H out of the cart to get the grocery shopping done. Defeating to say the least.
The good: Doctor's orders say that I am UNLIMITED in the amount of inside exercise I can engage in. So my 60 min on the eliptical yesterday wouldn't have been considered "naughty". So I ran 4 miles at the Rec tonight....just nice and easy.
The bad: I have to take more medicine. I hate taking meds....I feel like I AM Walgreens!
The very happy day: I am going to get better and feel awesome in less than 3 days and I can really start knocking out some miles!!!
8 1/2 weeks and counting. I'm focusing right now on keeping my miles up and getting my weight back down to 130. This morning I was at 142.2. IMO this weight is as important as getting my mileage. "Ain't nobody gonna convince me otherwise!"
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Time and training, pt 1
Time is a weird thing. It seems like time is the seasoning to most things.
Training for a mountain 100 feels like turning the treadmill/eliptical/row maching or whatever you are using to the max tension and then trying to train at that level. It is very very hard. Don't get me wrong. I love it, but it's really honking hard. I have been training like that since May 2012. It is what I really like to do and I really do like some super hard work. I signed up for Antelope Island 100 for a couple of reasons. I really think the island is mysterious so there is a draw to that. And also, I want to finish a 100 where I am running a very good portion of the time. Climbing is what I'm the least good at. So clearly in a mountain 100 (and when I say mountain 100 I mean something with elevation gain in the upward of 10K'-15K'+....Bighorn had 18K') climbing is a big part of the game. I remember enjoying training last year for pacing Emily at Salt Flats because all I had to do was run. No climbing, no hiking, just plain ol' running. What a fun and happy thing to do! So now, as I prepare to do the same with Antelope Island, I get to just run and run and run some more!
Training for a mountain 100 feels like turning the treadmill/eliptical/row maching or whatever you are using to the max tension and then trying to train at that level. It is very very hard. Don't get me wrong. I love it, but it's really honking hard. I have been training like that since May 2012. It is what I really like to do and I really do like some super hard work. I signed up for Antelope Island 100 for a couple of reasons. I really think the island is mysterious so there is a draw to that. And also, I want to finish a 100 where I am running a very good portion of the time. Climbing is what I'm the least good at. So clearly in a mountain 100 (and when I say mountain 100 I mean something with elevation gain in the upward of 10K'-15K'+....Bighorn had 18K') climbing is a big part of the game. I remember enjoying training last year for pacing Emily at Salt Flats because all I had to do was run. No climbing, no hiking, just plain ol' running. What a fun and happy thing to do! So now, as I prepare to do the same with Antelope Island, I get to just run and run and run some more!
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